Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Vasectomy Versions

Since I am a female, these stories obviously are not about me but they are 100% true. I was there to witness both of them.

The first time I drove someone to a vasectomy appointment, it was with my now ex-husband. The procedure went fine and as we left the doctor said to him, "Go home and rest for a day or two and you will be just fine." We went home and he was amazed that he felt as good as he did. He decided that going out to the bar that night would be alright since he didn't really feel bad at all. A little drinking (takes the edge off that nagging pain), a little dancing (still wasn't feeling all that bad) and I can't remember for sure, but we probably closed the bar.

Fast forward to the next morning. He wakes up and what does he have ... a sac the size of a cantaloupe. With tears in his eyes and running down his face he realized that doctors really do know what they are talking about.

The second time I drove someone to an appointment it was a very very close friend who had nobody else to take him. The deal was, I got to drive him there in his shiny red sports car. I was so excited. We got there pretty early in the morning and it was beautiful outside so I decided to sit outside in the car while he went in. I figured that I had lots of time and maybe I would just cruise around in the car for a while.

About 10 minutes after he went in (I was still sitting in the parking lot reading a book) a lady came along and stumbled up to my car window which was down. She asked me if she could have a drink of my orange juice. Of course, I told her "no" because I thought she was drunk. She then stumbled into the doctors office. About another 10 minutes passed and my friend came running out of the office and jumped into the car. He was as white as a sheet. I was pretty sure his procedure couldn't have been done already.

The lady had gone into the office and fell down a staircase that went down to the rooms where my friends procedure was going to take place. He was sitting right at the bottom of the stairs in a chair and she ended up right in his lap. She was having a diabetic attack (and obviously really needed my orange juice) and was dead before she hit the bottom of the stairs. The doctor tried to revive her and it didn't work. The doctor (and my friend) were so shook up, they cancelled the appointment so there was no chance of a "slip up". We went back a week later and all went fine.


  1. Why have I never been informed that you killed a lady?

  2. I had sort of a giggle at the 1st story since I know the person and he "might" have deserved that! But...I also was not informed about your juice hoarding! Good "V" post!

  3. i hope this is fiction--sad for the poor lady

    1. This is not fiction and it was a very sad day.

    2. oh i would say it had to be a very sad day--i am sorry--it reminds me of a day many years ago, when i was a fitness instructor--a lady died right in front of me--so sorry again

  4. Good V word, and I haven't come across any other blogs that used it! Just doing a quick A-Z fly-by. I had delusions of making it to all the blogs before this challenge ended, but it's not even gonna be close. Oh well. At least I made it here, eh? Count me in as your newest follower.

  5. Visiting from A to Z and chuckling over this post. I'm glad I stumbled upon it (and didn't die in someone's lap getting here!).


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