Over Another Hurdle

I gotta be honest. I was NOT looking forward to the holidays as you all know. I drug my feet when it came time to pick a tree. I didn't help put it up or put lights on it. I did however make myself put some balls on it (just so I didn't look like a total loser parent).

The more shopping and wrapping I did, the spirit started creeping up around me. Once I adopted the less fortunate family, I felt amazingly better. Once those gifts were delivered, I was ready for anything.

Fast forward to December 23rd. I had Friday and Monday off from work so on Friday, I loaded up Katie and Whit and headed out to finish up my shopping. One kid got shorted and I hadn't even begun to think of stocking stuffers yet. We headed into town and to my most favorite store to mull around in ... World Market. I love the smell, the stuff, the candies, the food, the spices, the wines, I JUST LOVE THIS STORE!! By the time I picked up odds and ends for the shorted kid, her present total was right where it needed to be within about $20. I was so happy. Unfortunately, I was already getting tired. I spent way too much time in there and then the line was unreal. I was in line probably 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. Decided to hit up Meijer on the way back for groceries and stuffers. Did our thing and then went home to settle in. Little did I know that I still forgot the stuffers and no ribs. CRAP.


Got up on Christmas Eve, cleaned for a few hours then headed out with hubby to get stuffers. Got everything we needed, stopped and had chinese, went home, wrapped stuffers and just relaxed.


One of our traditions has always been getting into comfy clothes or pajamas, on Christmas Eve and driving around to look at lights. We sometimes drive around for 3-4 hours at a time. This year was not near as fun so we only ended up going for just about 2 hours, picked up Katie from her boyfriend's house then headed home to have our Christmas Eve treats (meat/cheese/crackers).


Whit made sure that Alissa and Matt knew that they were to be at our house NO LATER than 6:00 a.m. for the festivities to begin and they were there right on time. We had so many gifts that we couldn't light the traditional fire in the fireplace, so we settled for Comcast's fireplace:

 

Lucy was not so sure about what all the commotion was so she hid under the tree waiting to scratch hands when they came near her. She is in there, you just have to look hard for her.

We gathered around while Sis passed out all the presents. Everyone was excited about all their gifts and the most excitement came from Whit when she opened the gift that she was sure I didn't get her:

Yep, those are Spongebob Nike's. Too bad that when you order those from China, you get what you get.The quality is not the best, but she was excited none the less.

 

 

We had breakfast burritos and Katie, Alissa & Matt were out the door by 7:30 to move on to their other parties.

With all of that said, we will not have another Christmas morning like this again. The hours and hours of shopping, wrapping, waiting and such just to have the kids leave after just over an hour wasn't like have any quality time with them at all. Next year, we will have to plan just a  bit better. Warren, Whit and I just relaxed the rest of the day. We did take time out to take the dogs to the park. They love to go to the park with their "Dad".

 

 

 

 Rylee spent most of her time trying to get back into the car. She is not very brave out in the elements. As you can see, we didn't get any snow for Christmas. So sad. I do like a white Christmas.

Our Christmas dinner this year was barbequed baby back ribs on the grill, mashed potatoes, pork stuffing, grean beans and garlic bread (provided by the neighbors who had too much left over). We had a nice meal and when the dishes were all taken care of, Dad and I got our butts spanked by Whit in a game of Rummy. 

So much for Christmas 2011. Bring on 2012. I am hoping for some real life changes which you will read about in upcoming blogs.

From all of us at the Wynalda camp: We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and will bring in the new year with a bang! All our love.

Loud and Proud

I want everyone out there to know that I love each and every one of my daughters more than life itself. No matter who makes a mistake or who repeats gossip or who back talks. I wouldn't change having any of them for anything on earth.

I love you Katie.

I love you Alissa.

I love you Whitney.

And ...

I even love you Tiffany (even though you came as a part of a package).

Correcting an Error

Evidently, I need to make a couple of corrections to my previous post.

1. My middle daughter DID NOT sent the thug photo of BD to her nasty aunt. Her aunt found it on her own and felt the need to show it to Katie's dad herself. I'm not sure how anyone thinks Katie can change what he posts, but I guess it needed to be passed on. Not that this changes the fact that Katie is 23 years old and not in need of anyone monitoring her Facebook, but supposedly, she does.

2. I was told something by the middle daughter that the nasty aunt had said in regard to Katie's baby shower that Katie and her grandma have been planning. Because I am totally at odds with the person, I felt that if she didn't want to attend, she didn't need to and Katie should know about it and let her know that she can just skip the whole thing. She doesn't need a gift from someone who treats her like shit. I still believe she had the right to know but I got the middle daughter in trouble for telling me. 

Alissa: I am only sorry that you got into trouble with her, I'm not sorry I repeated it. You will no longer need to worry about that as we have come to the understanding that we will no longer speak of your sister to each other or about your dad's side of the family for that matter. Katie is already aware that you have deleted her from your Facebook and amazingly enough, so did Whitney. You guys are welcome to do as you please. I hope this retraction eases your conscience.

Can't wait for Christmas morning.

Unconditional Love

We've all been there. We've all done or said something that we are sure that our parents, relatives, friends, peers or someone looking in will never understand. I, myself have done a couple things that I'm not proud of but have learned a lesson from doing it. We are the ones who must live with the choices that we make. The rest of the world just has to either like it and be a part of it or not like it and move on.

My oldest daughter is pregnant with my first (not including steps) grandchild. I will admit that when I found out, I was more disappointed in her than I have ever been in her entire life. She married her first love and that only lasted just over a year, divorced him and ran straight into the arms of what I call a loser. That didn't work out so she ran again into the arms of another (in my opinion) loser and within 3 months of dating this one, became pregnant.

Let's clarify one thing. Katie has wanted to be a mother for longer than I can remember, probably since she was a little girl. She and her husband had two very sad miscarriages and no luck conceiving (even with the help of fertility doctors) which was most likely one of the things that led to the end of that relationship. It was very disheartening because they both wanted it very badly.

Anyway, fast forward to this relationship. Katie was over the moon when this pregnancy stuck and I believe that if the sperm would have been from Satan himself, she would have been happy. She now has a baby growing inside her which is the ONLY thing she has ever wanted. The cherry on top was the day she found out is was a girl. This family is accustomed to girls and that is really what she was hoping for down deep inside. We still love our Ryan and Layne, but us girls love girly things.

I dreamed of my girls finding the right man, who had a good job, settling down in a nice home and having families. This is not the case with Katie. She has a "baby daddy" who does drugs, has no job, no place to live, no consistent family life, no hopes and dreams, cheats on her, treats her like shit, and (in my opinion) nothing but a loser. Katie knows how I feel about it because I refuse to hide how I feel, but once you have said it out loud, there is no sense in going over and over it. She knows that it is what it is. I have also told her that if he ever decides to man up and get his act in order, we WILL give him the chance to be a part of this family. Only if and when he conforms to what society deems the normal way of life. Job/Home/Monogamy, etc. I'm pretty sure that she has been told all of this by everyone around her. As of right now, the BD (baby daddy) is not welcome anywhere near any of Katie's families for all of the same reasons.

 Katie is so in love with the thought of having a "family" that she will endure anything just to get to that. She is holding out for BD to straighten up when the baby is born. She knows all of his faults but she is hoping that when he sees what could be his only chance for a normal family life, he will make some changes. She will not give up until she gives him the chance to be a real Dad. She is planning on sticking it out until Lily (Liliana) gets here in early March. Until then, we need to let her do what she needs to do (and it's not going to be easy).

Last Sunday while we were at a family function, my other daughter received a text from another family member regarding a photo that BD posted on his Facebook page. It is a terrible photo that depicts him as the thug that we all believe he is which is probably exactly why he posted it. He has no love for any of us either. KATIE HAS NO CONTROL OVER WHAT BD PUTS ON HIS FACEBOOK. I believe that my daughter, disgusted as she was, made sure that an aunt on her Dad's side saw the photo. Keep in mind that my two daughters are having their own problems over the BD and have really gone from being close sisters to almost strangers. The aunt in question hasn't been close to Katie in a very long time and I might add that she is not the nicest or most forgiving person either.

Two nights ago, Katie received a phone call from her Dad. This would be the one man in her life who should love her no matter what. He doesn't have to like what she does, but he is supposed to love her anyways. Katie began screaming into the phone and before it was over, her Dad hung up on her. What I got from our end of the conversation was that:

1.  BD is dangerous and she should not be putting herself in harms way by being near him.

2.  BD smokes pot so she should not be around the 2nd hand smoke.

3.  BD probably carries pot in her car and she could go to jail if she gets stopped.

4.  He (her Dad) does not want to be a grandfather so she should consider giving this baby up (because it will never be safe around BD) or should have aborted it long ago.

5.  Katie is nothing but a disappointment to his whole family.

MOMMA BEAR CLAWS COME OUT NOW!!!

I believe this all started from gossip and a stuck up, nosy aunt. She has tried for years to be a mother to my daughters. She believes that she is perfect and knows more about my kids that I do. Well here you go you hypocritcal bitch: 

I love my children unconditionally. I may not like the circumstances, but they are my children. I have not needed their father in over 17 years and my girls do not need him or his family if this is how they are going to be. If that is the way they feel about this little baby that is about to come into our lives, they can choose to not be a part of her family. She IS coming. No matter what Katie chooses to do right now, it is her life and she is going to live it.

I sincerely hope that when Lily gets here, BD steps up to the plate for her sake. I really doubt it, but I will sit back and wait just the same. In the meantime, please everyone remember. Katie knows what is happening around her, she cries almost every day. She is a very special person in a very bad situation. She needs the same love and respect as anyone else and even more, she DESERVES it.

Mom ... I know we talked about this many times and she is making it day by day. She knows we talked about those things and realizes what is going on and that you really do love her. ILY

The Christmas Spirit Finally Arrives

You know I have been struggling with everything that has to do with Christmas right up until yesterday. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through but now I am assured, I have been touched and have found my purpose to muddle through. 

 At the soccer game on Saturday, Joan (another parent) told me that she had taken her daughter and 8 of her friends shopping all morning because they had taken on an struggling family for Christmas. She told me that in our high school alone, there are approximately 30 families who are in need. The PTA chose the 10 that were the most in need and were going to attempt to help them first. When all was said and done, they could only do 8 of those families. Joan and some of her friends took on a family and had a wonderful time purchasing personal items, food and gifts for the whole family. This moved me. I asked her how she came about getting to know about these families and she explained everything to me. I told her that if the other 2 families were still not being helped, I may be interested in doing this.

She called me later and got me in touch with the right lady to get me going. I had my choice of a family with 7 kids, a family with 4 teenagers or a family with 3 kids but I would have to call that one and get details because they didn't know much about them. I chose 3-kid family because I was going to be doing this all by myself and I wanted to do as much as I could for them. I got all the details and when I hung up the phone, I could hardly wait. Even though I was in my pajamas already, I got up, got dressed and Katie and I headed out to see what we could do to make this family's holiday special.

Our family consists of an 8-year old girl, a 12-year old boy, a 16-year old boy, Mom and Dad.

We decided to start out at the dollar store for personal items. We went with the standard shampoo, soap, deodorant, laundry soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes and several food items such as granola bars, fruit snacks and juice boxes. We also got several stocking stuffers. I have been told that many of these families don't eat any other time than at school. The PTA is hoping to get food for all 30 families for the two weeks they have off so I got things that I didn't think they would be purchasing. We filled our cart with stuff and every single item was only $1.00 each.

We had searched the ads for some of the ideas that the Mom had given us and decided that Walmart was our best choice. We shopped for hours. We got gifts for almost everyone including Mom and Dad. We also got Pizza Hut gift cards. With the $10.00 pizza deals they offer, we thought that was a good idea and they deliver. Who knows if this family has a car? Couldn't find the right gifts for the older boy. Since I have all girls, I'm finding this very hard. The Walmart employee told me that he would probably love an air soft gun. I don't know what that is, but I'm sure that a gun is not the best choice for a gift. I will keep trying to find the best thing for him. Meanwhile, tonight we have a million things to wrap. 


I am so happy I did this. I feel truly blessed that Joan mentioned this whole idea to me and that this year, I could afford to help. I can officially say that now I am in the true Christmas spirit.

Merry Christmas!

Another Family's Tradition

Yesterday was the Michalek family cookie event at St. Marys. What a day we had. This is how we started:

 About twenty ladies showed up and made all sorts of different treats. There were cookies, candies, trail mixes, doggy treats, homemade lotion and a lot more. 

 We had a nice little pot luck and the kids that came got to do crafts. I did more chatting than anything else, but still enjoyed my day out and visiting with everyone. The whole point of us joining in on this event was the fact that seems like nobody ever mingles when we all get together. Cindy and I thought this would be a good way to get the younger generation to know each other. I met a couple of cousin's "kids" that I really never knew and I know my kids talked to other girls that they really never have gotten to know.

At the end of the day, it was a great afternoon and we got to take home some of everything on the table. You can't tell from the photos, but there were probably at least 20-30 different types of goodies in our boxes.

 Whit didn't want to make my Snickerdoodles, so she just mixed them up, glopped them on the pan and sprinkled the cinnamon and sugar on. Even though they aren't pretty, they tasted great!

This would have been your kind of day. I talked to Sandy for a while. Just want you to know that she seems to be doing well. I'm sure that this is hell on her, but she is very upbeat and it was so good to see her. 

I'll save the second half of our amazing day for another post, but I want to leave you with the following to think about ...

Christmas carols and Lightening Bugs

You know what it means.

ILY

Pre Holiday Parties

First of all, guess what! For the first time in forever, I have my Christmas  shopping done with the exception of stocking stuffers. I am over the top excited about this.


Back to Thanksmas weekend. While we were there, Whitney kept wearing a read Christmas sweater type jacket around the house. I wasn't sure where she got it, but I just assumed it was keeping her warm. Lo and behold, this morning she comes out of her bedroom with it on and she wore it to school. I couldn't believe it, but she did. Good for her.


We had a wonderful breakfast at City Hall this morning. We didn't do Secret Santa but had a really nice meal. Everyone brought in really good stuff. At lunch time, we had a really nice pot luck too. We played poker and for the first time in years, I didn't win. Well, crap!


Now I'm just sitting her watching the clock until it says 3:30. We don't have to do anything but we also can't leave early. Guess I'll go play a few games of Backgammon.


I added up all my Christmas purchases and Warren seems to have been a very good boy this year. I have to use some of that and switch it over to the birthday. Alissa got the shaft. She seems to be the hardest one for me to buy for. Now I have to go out again and figure something out for her along with the stocking stuff. 


Today is also Whitney's official last day of driver's training. She will be ready to take her road test after this. The weather is really nice and although I really hate the snow, I hope we get some so she can practice a little (with her Dad). I can't believe that in three months she will be able to drive alone. She went on a tour of Lansing Community College this week. She is going to take classes there next year. She is really excited about it.


Guess that's about it for today. 


ILY

Merry Thanksmas

Robyn and I made a few trips trying to get stuff cleaned out of the house, but every time we went it seems like that just wasn't the thing we wanted to do. We did A LOT of talking, remembering, touching things, remembering more, stopping to run to eat or maybe a quick (or not so quick) trip to the casino, watching movies and then back to sorting some more.

Since we didn't have a lot of planning time and Katie's schedule doesn't let her do a lot, we decided to have Thanksgiving and Christmas together like we used to when you guys went to Florida. We had it on Saturday after Thanksgiving. That way, everyone was able to go all different directions and we could still all get together. I called it Thanksmas. It worked for me. I had to meet Robyn at the door and we had to immediately sit and bawl some more. It just didn't seem right. It was our 2nd "first" and it was tough. We had tenderloin (I know ... you just licked your lips right then. I remember how much you loved it.), and all the fixings. Robyn tried to burn your house down. She took her eyes off those damned sweet potatoes for too long and when she opened the oven door, flames burst out. Luckily, Jen was ready with the camera and got the exclusive photos.

We drew names and everyone got a gift. Warren and Alissa got your gifts when we were sorting out your room. They liked them. Warren was so excited that you got him the radio. He has been reading the book and is all antsy about putting it in his boat. Finally, something he is excited about instead of jeans and socks. Wish you could have seen his face.

After everyone left, I decided to start sorting our your closets. I went back to your room and one by one, folded up your clothes and started bagging. It seems so weird going through your closets like that. Brought back memories about when I used to raid your closet for something to wear. Now I must admit, Dad sure was right every time he rolled his eyes when you came home with bags of stuff. Who the hell has that many clothes? Yep, you did. I got your closets and drawers done. I took all of those things and the tubs of clothes from the attic to our local emergency shelter. It is at a church and they give stuff away to people who lose their homes to tragedy. They do not charge and I know that is something you were pretty adamant about. The lady was so excited because they usually don't get plus size clothing and hardly ever get nice stuff (I called it work/church clothes). They were so gracious. I told them that I'd be back since I have another closet to go.


Haven't been back since that day, but thinking about getting some more done over the upcoming holidays. That pretty much covers Thanksgiving weekend.


PS: I finally called the nut doctor yesterday and set up an appointment. The last time I was supposed to go and had to cancel was the day Robyn was bringing you to Sparrow when you found out about the cancer. I'm in a pretty bad place, so it's time. I go next Tuesday and I am not looking forward to that first visit.


ILY

Easing My Insanity

I've thought about blogging for quite some time now, but have never really had much to say that I thought anyone would give two shits about reading. I have decided that this blog will be more about me helping myself than a place for people to come and get a good laugh or a new recipe.

 

After the last few weeks of feeling like I am in some kind of dark hole with no light, I have decided that this can be a place for me to talk to and/or about the one person who is no longer with me ... my Mom. I lost my Mom on October 7th after a very short bout with lung cancer. I'm finding it difficult to move forward because I need to talk to her every day. I probably called her three to five times a week just to tell her what was going on in our lives, ask what she did for the day, or maybe some little tidbit of gossip. I started calling her every few days after we lost my Dad in July of 2009. I guess it made me feel better to know she had someone to talk to every day. Maybe by writing down the things I want to tell her, I can begin to heal. 

Feel free to read if you want, comment if you like or just plain move along to something with a little more rainbows and sparkles. I'm sure that in time things will be better, but for now - it's all about me.

The first thing I need to start with is ... 

I miss you so much. I wish I could hear your voice but I guess this will have to do. Everything is working just how you had hoped. Remember how we talked about everyone getting along after you were gone. I think that for the most part, everything is going just fine. 

We had girls night because we thought it was best to keep things as normal as we could. We did a lot of laughing and crying but all in all, it was a good time. We went through all the quilts that night. You must have forgotten how many you had done. Everyone got one and there are still three more plus the one that is not quilted yet. I'm surprised that your fingers never calloused from all that embroidery.

Robyn handed out goody bags so it was almost like you were still there. We at and drank and were kind of merry. We did have to let the girls go through clothes and yes, there was some fun poked at you.

Even Whit got into the action.

In the end, some good did come from girls nite. We found all sorts of glasses that we were able to donate to the Lions Club (but not before taking a goofy pictures first).

That pretty much sums up our 1st "first" without you. I'll be back regularly to keep you posted in everyone's lives. One step at a time cuz you know ... "It is what it is"!

ILY